Will being successful really make you happy?
I used to believe that when I was “successful” everything in my life would be better. I’d be slimmer, smarter, richer and happier.
However I had never taken the time to determine what success meant to me personally. I just saw what others did and thought I have to do that too.
I didn’t have the confidence to define my own version of success, so I started following someone else’s.
Every time I felt that something wasn’t right and maybe I should be doing something else I would distract myself. I would move houses, move jobs, move countries! Anything, but deal with the real reason.
So I kept going and eventually I had what most people would consider success in my career and at home.
I was leading a big team, had a good title, had a good salary, a husband, a house, children, tick, tick, tick. Yet on the inside I didn’t feel it. I didn’t have that overwhelming feeling of success and happiness.
I was confused. Did I need more money? A more senior title? A bigger team? Why didn’t I feel amazing about myself?
This time instead of distracting myself I sat with my feelings and hired a coach. I learnt that this dream I had been chasing, it wasn’t mine. Yes, it was nice to earn good money and to have a good job, but it wasn’t what was going to fulfil me and make me happy.
In order to work out what would make me happy I had to rediscover who I was. All those dreams and parts of myself I had hidden away to ‘fit in’ I had to reconnect with them. I had to start believing in myself and stop doubting myself.
I had overcome the fear that if I was different, I would not be accepted. Because that is what was stopping me from moving forward. My fear of being rejected if I didn’t do what everyone else did. My fear of being mocked and alone.
If I wanted to find what would make me truly happy I had to stop looking at what others were doing. I had to trust myself and trust my voice.
We spend so much of our lives looking externally. Checking if we ‘fit in’ if we are ‘accepted’ and so we lose touch with our own voice. If you want to define your own version of success, you have to stop looking at others and just listen to yourself.
It won’t happen overnight. It is a long process, but it is the only way that you will be able to find what makes you truly happy and successful in life.
How many people actually sit down and ask themselves why they want what they want. They don’t. They’ve just been told that this is what success means, and so they blindly start marching towards it.
Make lots of money, get a promotion, buy a big house. But none of that will lead to the feeling of success if it’s not something you really want.
How many people have everything you could imagine and still they don’t feel happy?
You can be successful in the eyes of everyone else. You can focus all your time and energy externally, trying to live up to everyone else’s expectations.
Or, you can define what success means to you and go after that.
For me, success is when the vision of how I want to live aligns with how I actually live my life.
It’s not an external goal I set based on what society told me would make me happy. It’s an internal goal. It’s personal to me and how I want to live my life.
I no longer put my feeling of success in the hands of others. I control if I feel successful because my definition of success is so personal to me. No-one else can control my feeling of success anymore.
If you resonate with what I’m writing ask yourself if you’re ready to create your path. If you are Start taking those small steps to reconnect with who you are.
Start listening and trusting that inner voice again. Make small changes to encourage the real you to step up.
There is so much power within you, you just need to believe in yourself and let it out.
And if you want my help then click here to contact me and let’s do this together.